Lest we Forget
by Messrsmoony
Summary: Post Deathly Hallows, The ministry had kept Snape's survival a secret and had kept him locked in Azkaban for over 10 years. Will Sirius be able to bring him back from the purgatory they had trapped him in? The purgatory of his own mind?
1. To those we have forgotten

**Lest we Forget**

_Chapter 1: To those we have forgotten_

(Azkaban Prison, 2008)

Voices echoed through his head. Whether he was imagining it or not he wasn't sure, it was hard to discern between reality and the horrors of his mind.

"Should we tell him?" He thought he recognized the voice but he couldn't place from where.

"-forgot about him." It was so hard to focus on what they were saying.

"-kill him." That voice. So familiar. 'Please do ... Please kill me. I can't stand this purgatory I'm in. I'm trapped. I don't know what's real.' His mind screamed where his voice could not.

The voices stopped. When did they leave? Come back. You seemed almost real. How long had it been? How long had he been here? It's so cold.

He could feel pain once again as someone hit him. Kicked him. Was he screaming? He couldn't even tell.

"-op it!" That voice was back. The familiar one. The pain nearly stopped. Or at least the hitting stopped. The pain remained. It always remained.

He could hear yelling, but the voice sounded far away. Distorted. 'Help me!' He felt like he was drowning. He couldn't breath.

He felt a slight pressure on his chest and the liquid was cleared. He could feel arms around him. Could hear that familiar voice talking to him. He couldn't understand him, but his words seemed soothing. Almost safe.

Sirius' body could not be more tense than it was. Being back in Azkaban, even on a 'visit' of sorts was more than nerve racking. Even without the presence of the Dementors it was dark, dank and foreboding.

"Relax Sirius." Sirius looked over to Dumbledore. "You need to keep a level head." Albus said as the guard opened the cell door. Sirius didn't know why, but he imagined the person in the cell as the dark potions master, standing in the middle of the cell, dark black robes billowing around him as he paced angrily in his confines.

He was not prepared for what he saw in reality. Severus lay in the middle of the room, his thin frame practically swimming in his dirty prison garb. His hair had grown well past his shoulders, even though it was shaved off when he had been sentenced. From the looks of it, it went nearly down to his waist. His eyes were sunk in, and despite the fact that they were open slightly, Sirius doubted he knew they were there.

"Should we tell him?" Sirius asked Dumbledore.

"Leave him be for now. No need moving him before it's necessary."

"I still don't believe they forgot about him." Sirius said. "I mean I never liked the guy but I never would wish this on anyone. Especially after Voldemort tried to kill him."

"Neither do I." Said Dumbledore simply. "I believe they had every intent on keeping him here as punishment for his ... crimes ..." Dumbledore sighed and looked down at Severus before bringing his attention back to Sirius. "I must go and speak to the officials about his release papers. I shall be back in a few minutes." Sirius nodded as Dumbledore left the room.

Sirius stared at Snape's prone body in silence, wondering if he talked if the man could hear him. It seemed like forever before the cell door opened again. Sirius turned to see one of the Azkaban guards come in.

"I've been ordered to bring this dirt bucket to the Ministers Office." He said kicking Snape hard in the ribs. The guard paused then kicked him in the face for good measure.

"Stop it!" Sirius yelled, knocking the guard away. It took him a moment to realize that there was blood in Snape's mouth, and he was struggling to breath.

Sirius pulled out his wand and quickly freed Snape's airway of any obstructions. Snape gasped for breath, but it was weak. He could see tears streaming down his cheeks and knew from experience that Snape had no idea what was going on and that he was terrified.

He could feel Snape shaking against him as he pulled him into a comforting embrace.

"It's okay Severus, you're safe now. We're getting you out of here." He said as the guard spit at them.

"Come on, we don't have all day." The guard said angrily. Sirius struggled to help Severus stand but once up Snape seemed ... though shakey ... stable enough to walk with some help.

The guard had pushed and prodded Severus all the way to the Ministers Office.

After the second wizarding war, or the battle at Hogwarts, as many liked to call it, Knigsley Shacklebolt had been deemed Minister of Magic. But due to an unexpected illness a few months later, the title had been past to a man named Gareth Prince.

Sirius helped him into the large office. The office was a little brighter than the rest of the prison but was still dark and foreboding.

The minister stood at his desk accepting the papers Dumbledore was handing him.

The minister waved his wand and Severus' belongings appeared in a cardboard box on his desk. Sirius assumed it must have been an attempt to embarrass the man, the minister waved his wand again and the prison garb that Severus wore disappeared. To the ministers dismay and annoyance the man didn't even seem to notice. Sirius took Snape's white dress shirt that was still torn and blood stained at the collar and helped Snape put it on, shortly followed by his black dress pants.

The clothes that had previously fit him snugly, now hung off of him almost as loosely as the prison garb had.

"You would think you'd have more compassion for your own nephew." Dombledore said in disgust.

"He is no nephew of mine. His mother was a disgrace to our family for marrying that filthy muggle, and producing such a horrid child. Should have drowned him when he was born. And it's against my better judgment to be setting him free."

"Need I remind you minister-" Dumbledore said but was interrupted by Gareth.

"Yes, yes, I know." He snarled, oddly looking very much like an older version of Snape, though his short black hair was starting to gray. "Get him out of my sight before I lock him back up."

Sirius and Dumbledore both left, going through Gilbert's floo network as it seemed safer to take Severus that way rather than apperating from the office.

The floo network almost seemed to work like a bucket of cold ice water on Severus. He reached the other side, falling out of the fire place onto the floor and shivered in fear of what just happened.

"Severus." Sirius said going to him. Sirius tired to embrace him and had to fight against Severus' attempts to get away before he managed to hold him and calm him down. Severus weakly clung onto him listening to his calming voice as if he let go he would fall.

"He seems to cling to you as a safeguard Sirius." Dumbledore said.

"I don't see why." Sirius said. "He hates me."

"Hated, I think would be a more appropriate word. I think he finds your voice familiar. You've also been the only person to be kind to him in over ten years." Sirius let Severus go slowly and stood up allowing Severus to huddle by Dumbledore's desk.

"I believe, if you agree, that it would be in Severus' best interest that he stay with you."

"What? But I -"

"Have experience with leaving Azkaban. You'll know for the most part how he feels, how he'll react, what he can or cannot handle. And he already had taken comfort in your presence."

"But -"

"Sirius, you are the best candidate for this. You will have help of course. From both me and the Hogwarts house elves. As well as I will support Severus financially."

Sirius sighed and looked down at Severus who seemed very interested in a single fiber in the carpet.

"If you think that is what is best." Sirius said defeated.

"I will arrange for him to be brought to Grimauld Place. In the mean time, I will have Poppy take a look at him and it will allow you time to get Kreature to prepare a room for him."

"Of course Headmaster." He said before flooing home to Grimauld Place.

"Kreature!" Sirius bellowed. Loud grumbling and a clatter came from the hallway before Kreature stepped into the room.

"Yes, Master Sirius?" Kreature asked.

"Can you prepare a guest room for me please? Make sure there is no sharp objects, anything that can be tripped over, no string, no wire, anything you deem potentially dangerous I want removed and make it as bright as possible without it looking like St. Mongos psych ward. Change the colours of the walls and floors if need be but make it look ... cheery." He had learned from Harry, if you are kind to Kreature he will listen, and with Harry's help, Kreature and Sirius begrudgingly got along.

"Of course, Master Sirius. May I ask who the guest is, to better suit the room?" Kreature asked.

"A former Azkaban prisoner. That's all you need to know." Sirius said.

"Ah, so Master Severus is coming?" Kreature asked with a slight smirk on his face.

"How did you know it was him?" Sirius looked at him confused.

"He seemed the most logical person that fit that description sir. And I didn't know, you confirmed it. It was more of a well educated guess." Sirius looked at him annoyed before Kreature left the room.

Sirius sat down at the table, using magic to make himself a cup of tea. He waited at the table for what seemed like forever. Kreature had come down and announced that the room was ready. Sirius had inspected it, Kreature had done a fantastic job. Not that he would admit it. He said thank you to Kreature and sat back down at the table with his fourth cup of tea.

It wasn't much longer that Severus arrived with Dumbledore at the front door. He allowed him and Severus in, noting that Severus was shaking.

"Has he said anything yet?" Sirius asked. Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

"He hasn't made a single sound. I don't know if it's from lack of ability or from lack of wanting to, I'm not sure." Dumbledore explained. "Poppy has done a full examination. He's weak due to malnourishment, but that's to be expected. As for his mental state, there is little to no chance of him recovering fully, but we should, with due time, be able to make him function on his own again. Perhaps even return to his own house." Dumbledore looked at Severus who stood with his arms folded over his chest, shaking, his eyes fixed on the floor in front of him. "Until then ..."

"He'll be safe here Headmaster." Sirius said. Dumbledore smiled.

"It has been years since you've been a student of mine Sirius, please call me Albus." He said.

"Of course ... Albus ..." He said feeling a bit weird.

Dumbledore turned to Severus. "I'm leaving you in Sirius' care now." He said putting his hand on Severus' arm. Severus pulled away from him, still shaking. "You'll be safe here, alright?" Severus didn't respond at all. Albus turned to Sirius and wished him luck before returning to Hogwarts.

Sirius stood there staring at Severus a few moments wondering what to do.

"Are you hungry?" Sirius asked. He waited a few moments but got no response. "I suppose you should take a bath as well. I can cut your hair for you as well if you'd like." He waited a few more moments. Still no response. "Severus?" He asked slowly stepping towards him. "Severus, it's okay." He said slowly pulling him into a loose embrace. Severus fought against him a moment, before giving in. "Come, lets get you cleaned up and fed. You'll feel almost human again."

Severus followed him mindlessly, having a little trouble with the stairs, but made it to the bathroom. He sat Severus down on the toilet lid and, with some difficulty, cut Snape's hair. It was a little shorter than it was years ago, and he had to layer it for it to look normal after cutting out the tangles and years of grime.

Severus just sat quietly while he did so. After Sirius was done he waved his wand at the tub and filled it with warm water. He didn't want to burn him. He helped Severus take off his clothes, Severus being surprisingly compliant.

Sirius cringed at all the scars all over Snape's body. The most prominent was the large bite scar on the left side of his neck. It looked like once they got rid of the Dementors they started resorting to physical abuse. He ran a finger along a particularly long nasty one that ran from Snape's top right collar bone and ran straight down to his left hip. Severus pulled away from him when he did this.

"Sorry." He said. "Come on, I'll help you into the bath." He said leading him towards the tub. As soon as Snape saw the water his eyes widened in fear and he scrambled to get away from it. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked not seeing what Snape had to fear. "It's okay, It's just water." Snape fell back and huddled against the wall shivering, hugging his legs to his chest. Sirius looked at the tube and realized that there wasn't a chance that he would get him in the tub.

He conjured a bowl with some water and a sponge and dipped it into the water. "Severus it's okay. I'm just going to clean the dirt off of you. Okay?" He said. He didn't get a response as Severus was still staring at the tub. He took the wet sponge and ran it along Snape's arm. Snape looked like he was going to pull away but seemed to decide that the feeling wasn't unpleasant, and remained still.

Sirius concentrated or what he was doing, trying not to allow his own embarrassment show as he washed the naked man before him. He felt a little uncomfortable when he got to Snape's more private parts, but the other man didn't seem to even notice what he was doing. Sirius finished that area quickly and moved down onto his legs. After Sirius was done, he removed his socks and threw them into the hall and rolled up his pant legs.

"Severus, I need you to close your eyes tight, okay?" He said. "I'm not going to hurt you, but I need to wash your hair okay?" He had to repeat himself a few times, even did a few demonstrations before Severus finally did it. Sirius took the bowl and slowly poured the water over Snape's head, careful not to get it into his face. Snape tensed but didn't pull away. He didn't like the water, but it wasn't hurting him.

Sirius managed to wash his hair, having a bit of an issue when he accidentally got soap in Snape's eyes. It had taken nearly half an hour to calm him down after that, but he managed to get the rest of the soap out of his hair. He got him dressed again in some of his old clothes, and lead him downstairs to the kitchen.

"We should make you something light. Something your stomach can handle. I think soup would be best." He said. "Kreature." Severus jumped and landed on the floor as Kreature appeared beside him with a pop.

"My apologies, Master Severus." He said. "I did not mean to frighten you." Despite Kreature's apology Snape still scrambled to the other side of the table.

"Kreature, would you be able to make us some soup?" He asked. "Something light that Severus would be able to handle."

"Of course." He said dramatically before disappearing once again. It wasn't long before Kreature returned with two bowls of warm soup and some crackers and a glass of water for Severus. Sirius reheated his tea. Severus stared at the soup a moment. Sirius wondered if he would need to feed him as well but was glad to see him pick up the spoon himself. He had a little trouble as his perception was off and his hands were shaking still, but he managed to eat at least half the bowl.

He knew that wouldn't be good for Severus to eat just before bed, but it was now nearing one A.M.

"Come Severus. I'll take you to your room. You can get some sleep and we'll take it again int he morning." He took Severus arm and lead him back up the stairs, to his room.

Kreature had done a fantastic job of the room. The walls were now a light beige almost cream colour and the floor was a mid tone hardwood floor. The room held a simple bed, a dresser that was spelled so the drawers wouldn't pull completely out, and there was a closet where Severus could store his things once he regained some of his belongings. The only other thing was a bedside dresser with an oil lamp on it.

"You can sleep here tonight, alright Severus?" Severus didn't even seem to look at the room. Sirius helped him into a pair of pajamas and helped him into bed. "I'll come again in the morning, if you need anything, I'm in the room across the hall. Okay?" He waited for a few moments but got no response.

He sighed deeply before turning the lamp off, not seeing Severus tense once again.

((TBC ... hope you all enjoyed ... more to come soon. Please R&R ...))


	2. I will not forget

**Lest we Forget **

_Chapter 2: I will not forget_

Darkness. Darkness and silence. It's always where he seemed to end up. Wet and cold in the dark. The dark is when the voices returned. The voices and the green light that never became bright enough to break the darkness, just bright enough to torture him. He couldn't remember what it was, but he could remember it meant he did something bad.

In Azkaban, in the dark, the voices told him he was a murderer. That he had killed and tortured innocent people. Is that what the green light was? What did the voices call it? Unfathomable ... no ... unfortunate ... no that wasn't it either. Where were the voices now? They could tell him. It was driving him mad. what was it they called it?

Unforgivable! That was it! An unforgivable curse. They said he used it on a great wizard. He couldn't recall who. Had been told by the voices that the man he killed trusted him. Had given him a chance, and that he had betrayed him.

He remembered not believing it. But that was a long time ago. He remembered confessing to it. But that was a long time ago too.

Severus got off the bed weakly, and fell to the floor with a quiet thud. He moved to the corner of the room and huddled there, his limbs sore, his body shaking.

Wet. Cold. In the dark. Where he belonged.

Sirius woke the next day surprisingly late. It was nearly eleven o'clock when he woke up. He yawned despite his long sleep and got dressed. He exited his room and wondered if Severus would be up yet.

He opened Severus' door slightly and was shocked at what he saw. Severus was huddled in the corner of the room, his t-shirt had been removed and his arms, hands and chest where covered in blood.

"Kreature!" Sirius yelled as he ran towards Severus. Severus didn't make any noise as was usual, but tried to melt into the corner from the yell and the sudden movement.

Sirius pulled Snape's hands away from himself, trying to get him to stop clawing at himself. Once he got his hands away he pulled him into another hug, knowing that usually got him to calm down.

"Shh, shh, it's okay." He said, realizing that Snape was holding onto him like a life line. "It's okay, I'm here." He still couldn't understand how Snape found his voice comforting. He had teased and ridiculed him on a near constant basis when they where teenagers, and Snape had held onto that in adult hood.

Kreature appeared in the room a moment later and didn't even need to be told what to do before he disappeared again. He returned moments later with a bowl of water, a soft cloth and Sirius' wand.

Sirius used his wand to heal the wounds as best as he could, but his healing abilities were limited. Some of the wounds were still open slightly but Sirius did his best to clean them. They were alright, but he would call Madame Pomfrey for assistance a little later.

After he got Severus cleaned up and dressed in a new t-shirt and a pair of his old jeans that almost fit him. He lead Snape downstairs where Kreature already had a light breakfast prepared.

Sirius waited until Snape started picking at his food before digging into his own. It wasn't long before the silence became to much for Sirius.

"Do you remember my Godson?" Sirius asked. "Harry. He may be coming over late in the week." To be honest Sirius didn't know what to say, he just hated the silence. "Remus' son Teddy is going to school for the first time next week." Severus seemed to be listening, even though he wasn't responding. "Harry has two kids now. Two boys. James Sirius is almost two years old. His second son was named after you actually. Albus Severus. Though so far everyone is calling him Sev or Sevy. It apparently sounds cutter for a baby than Albus. Not many nicknames you can make from Albus." Severus put his fork down after sloly eating half of his scrambled eggs. Sirius noted he wasn't eating much, which in this case was normal, but they would need to work on that.

The rest of the day went by relatively uneventful. Severus still wasn't talking but seemed to enjoy Sirius talking. Sirius talked the majority of the time, rarely running out of things to say. He talked about relevant things that were currently happening, to random things, such as television shows he watched on the T.V. Teddy had been adamant he get.

At eleven P.M. he lead Severus upstairs to bed, helping him into his pajamas again. Sirius went to his own room, quickly changed into his own, and returned to see Severus crouched on the ground staring at the hard wood floor.

"Severus, come to bed. I'll stay with you tonight." He said leading Severus to the bed. Sirius wore a pair of black pajama pants that looked similar to the ones Severus wore, but where Severus was wearing a loose grey t-shirt, Sirius had removed his entirely. Severus followed him obediently to the bed. Sirius turned off the lamp and crawled into bed next to him.

"It's okay. You're safe." He said pulling Snape to him comfortingly, hoping to help the man relax. Sirius moved his hand over Snape's hair trying to get him to relax.

It had been quiet for quite a few moments and Sirius had thought that Severus had fallen asleep. What happened though, could not have shocked him farther.

He felt Snape's hand sneak into his pajama pants and before Sirius even had a chance to react around his shock, he felt Snape's hand wrap around his flaccid cock. Sirius jumped away from him, but not off the bed, causing Snape's hand to slip out of his pants.

"What are you doing Severus?" He asked. He heard Snape move back against the wall, and didn't expect him to answer. Sirius moved to turn the light back on when a sound made him pause. "What was that?" Sirius asked shocked.

"I thought it's what you wanted." Snape's voice was quiet and hoarse from lack of use. It was the first thing he had said since he had seen him. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough."

"Want ... Why would you think I would want ... that?" Snape shrugged even though Sirius couldn't see him.

"It's what 'they' wanted." He said.

"They? They who?" Sirius asked.

"They? Them ... the voices ..." Severus said. "They'd lead me somewhere, and then they'd make me do things. I didn't like it but they would make me do it anyway. They said it was a game. They liked making it so I couldn't breath. They thought it was funny."

"Severus I would never do that to you." He turned the lamp back on and sat back down next to Snape. "Those men that did that to you were bad men."

"No, they weren't. They said I was the bad man. That I deserved what they did to me. They said what they were doing was a public service. That I should have been kissed, what ever that means."

"You don't remember?" Sirius asked. "Dementors used to run Azkaban. They made it so you couldn't feel happiness just by being around you. If they kiss you, they pull out your soul leaving you an empty shell."

"They wanted that to happen to me?" He asked. "What did I do? They told me I killed someone. I don't remember. Who did I kill?" He asked.

"That I know of, you didn't kill anyone. You and Albus Dumbledore faked his own death. He was in stasis for nearly two years. Unfortunately we didn't know you were still alive. The Ministry had told us of your death, Harry had confirmed that he saw you die at the hands ... or fangs, of Nagini. Voldemort's large snake."

"Yes, those two I do remember." Snape said running his hand over the large scar on the left side of his neck. "How do you know so much about how Azkaban used to be? Dementors and all that?"

"I was a prisoner myself for twelve years. Nearly lost my mind. But I had my innocence to keep me sane." He said. "As you should have. But the Ministry locked you up and no one knew that you where alive. We would have resqued you years ago."

"You said Albus Dumbledore. Is he the other man Harry's son was named after?" Severus asked.

"You were listening." Sirius said.

"I always listen. All I do is listen." Severus said sitting back against the wall, his arms resting on his knees.

"Yes, he's named after the two of you."

"Why me though? I'm a bad man." Severus said.

"You are not a bad man Severus." He said. "Had someone asked me when we were teenagers if you were, I would have said yes, because I was biased. You are a Slytherin. But you didn't do anything wrong. Harry still doesn't know you're alive and he'll be happy to see you again. He says the reason he named him after you two is because you and Albus were two of Hogwarts greatest Headmasters. And he said you are the bravest are the bravest man he's ever met."

"Somehow, I don't believe that." Severus said, there was an odd silent pause.

"Why were you clawing at yourself last night?" Sirius asked, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"I woke up this morning, you were clawing at yourself." Sirius explained.

"I ... I don't know. I don't remember." He said. Severus looked as if he was trying to remember and the harder he tried the farther he retreated back into his shell.

"Severus." Sirius said. Severus looked at him. At least he hadn't retreated all the way. "We should get some sleep." Severus nodded and crawled back under the blanket. Sirius joined him and stiffened when Severus curled against him.

"If you want ... I'll touch you ..." Severus said. "I won't mind. You're nice. Not mean like them. But I'll understand if you don't want me to. I am ugly." Sirius flinched at how matter-of-fact like he said that.

"You're not ugly Severus." Sirius said. Severus yawned and smiled slightly.

"You're a nice man." He said slowly drifting into sleep. "But you're a bad liar."

((Tbc ... please R&R ... I likes my R&R's ...))


	3. My love Forgotten

**Lest we Forget**

_Chapter 3: My love Forgotten_

It was dark. As usual. Dark, but warm this time. Warm and ... almost comforting. Severus slowly opened his eyes. It was early morning, the sun barely breaking through the curtain. He looked down to look at the slight weight on his stomach. He started to panic but soon realized that it was the man with the familiar voice.

The man must have felt him move because moments later he had woken up as well.

"Morning." The man mumbled, yawning.

"Morning." Severus said quietly. "What's your name?" He asked suddenly. Sirius blinked a few times before realizing what was asked.

"You don't remember me?" Sirius asked.

"No, but I recognize your voice. Were we friends before?" Severus asked making Sirius laugh.

"Friends? Hardly, more like old school rivals. Back in the day anyway. My name is Sirius Black." He said.

"I've been told mine is Severus Snape." Severus said.

"You don't even remember your name?" Sirius asked.

"I know what they told me. Other than that I remember darkness, and pain." He looked at Sirius as the sun became brighter. Severus shockingly ran his hand across Sirius chest. "If you were in Azkaban, then where are your scars?" He asked running his fingers over the tattoos on his chest.

"Azkaban isn't the same now as it was then." He said. "There were no humans to physically abuse us. Just Dementors that made you absolutely miserable. You remember me telling you about the Dementors?"

Severus nodded, his fingers still drawing patterns on Sirius' chest. "So they didn't hurt you then? The voices?" He asked.

"Not physically no. And the voices I heard were different." He said. It was many moments that they laid in silence as Severus played with Sirius' tattoos, tracing the shapes with his fingers.

"I like these." Severus said. "They're much prettier than my scars."

"I think your scars give you character." Severus didn't respond to that statement. Sirius nearly laughed when he heard Snape's stomach growl.

"Come on, lets get you some food." Sirius said leading him out of bed.

Kreature had already prepared their food, one of the Hogwarts elves no assisting him with the laundry. Not that there was much.

Severus managed to eat a bit more than he was used to, not by much, but he managed to eat his toast as well as half his eggs.

"Would you be alright if Harry came over today? Just for a few hours? I think having someone you might recognize other than me might do you a bit of good." Sirius said.

"If that's what you believe." He said.

"I'm going to be meeting him at his work. Do you want to come with me?" Sirius asked.

"No."

"Will you be okay here alone?" Sirius asked.

"I've been alone my entire life." Severus said. that statement couldn't be truer. "I'll be fine for a while."

"Kreature and Blink will be here too, if you need anything." Sirius said.

"You mean they'll be here to watch me?" He didn't sound offended, just made a fact known.

"They are here to help you." He said. "Do you want to watch television with me for a bit before I go?"

"Sure."

They managed to catch the last fifteen minutes of an episode of Red Dwarf. The only part of the episode that caught Severus' eyes was when Lister mentioned Winnie the Pooh being executed. He didn't much pay attention to the rest. After that was aired the Christmas episode of Dr. Who. Severus seemed a bit more interested in that. After the two shows were over Sirius promised to be back in less than an hour.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Sirius asked.

"I'm fine." Severus said looking through a book shelf. He pulled out a book titled 'Advanced potions for higher learning'. It's what muggles would call 'college level' learning. Why he had it he wasn't sure, it might have belonged to his great grand uncle years ago.

"You used to teach potions at Hogwarts." Sirius said. "Do you remember?" Severus shook his head. "You're sure you're alright?" Sirius asked again.

"Yes." Severus said plainly. "Go."

"Alright. I'll be back soon." He asid leaving Severus to flip through the potions text.

"He's alive?" Harry asked for what seemed like the thousandth time. "He's seriously alive?"

"Yes Harry, he's really alive. Just don't talk to loud, and don't make any sudden or quick movements." Sirius said.

"I won't." Harry said. "He's seriously still alive?" He asked as they approached the front door of Grimmauld place. Sirius unlocked the door and stepped inside. Sirius froze int he doorway.

"Where is-"

"Shh." Sirius said holding his hand up to keep Harry quiet.

"What?"

"It's quiet." Sirius said.

"So?" Harry asked confused.

"When have you known Kreature to be quiet." Sirius asked slowly stepping down the hall. Harry followed him down the hall and into the living room. Both of them froze in shock.

The entire room was in shambles Kreature was tied in the middle of the room with a shiny gold string, with a green bandanna stuffed in his mouth. In the corner of the room, Severus sat curled up against the wall with the potions text in his lap, a quill in his hand and a half spilled ink jar by his feet. He seemed to be scribbling int he potions text book.

"Severus?" Sirius asked, stepping over the tied up house elf. Severus didn't respond as he tore a page out of the text book and tossed it on the ground. "Severus?" Sirius asked again still approaching him slowly. He put his hand gently on Severus' arm making the man jump and drop his quill.

"Severus, it's okay it's me." He said. "What happened?" Sirius asked. Severus looked at Harry and didn't say anything. Severus watched Harry untie Kreature. Kreature jumped up and ripped the gag out of his mouth.

"You fowl little worm!" Kreature yelled advancing on Severus. "Destroying Master's belongings and wasting Master's ink!"

Sirius picked up Kreature when he dove at Severus.

"Kreature enough! It's fine." Sirius said.

"But he did bad Master Sirius." Sirius saw Severus flinch at this.

"Kreature go-" He paused when Severus flew out of the room as fast as his legs would allow, the book falling and skidding across the room until it hit a fallen chair. "Severus!" He called to stop him, but he didn't.

He heard Severus run up the stairs and tossed Kreature on the floor. "Clean up this room, I want you out of my sight for the rest of the day unless I call you." Kreature sneered at him but waved his hands at the room to clean it up. "I'm sorry Harry. I didn't think something like this would happen. He's been very ... compliant."

"It's okay. I know it must have been hard for him it just ... He's not how I expected him to be." Harry said as Kreature disappeared out of the room.

"I know what you mean. When we picked him up from Azkaban I expected to see him prowling around in his cell, black robes a billowing." Sirius said with a slight sad laugh. "I wasn't prepared for the pile of prison garbs that lay in the middle of the floor." He sighed and looked at Harry. "I better go check on him. Make yourself comfortable, I'll be back down when I can."

"Of course." Harry said. "Take your time."

Sirius picked up the text book Snape had been scribbling in and made his way up the stairs.

"Severus?" Sirius asked. He saw that Snape's bedroom door was slightly ajar. He opened it slightly and looked into the room. He saw Severus sitting in the corner staring at the floor. "Severus?" He asked again stepping into the room. He moved slowly towards Severus and sat in front of him. He handed Snape back the book but he didn't take it. "It's okay Severus. I'm not mad at you." He said. "You can have the book if you'd like. You can write in it all you want." He paused not getting a response. "Or I can buy you a colouring book if you want."

Severus rested his chin on his arms and looked away from Sirius looking much like a child pouting. "Don't insult my intelligence." Snape muttered.

Sirius topped trying to hand him the book and sighed. "What am I going to do with you?" Sirius asked.

"What ever you want I suppose." Snape muttered again. Sirius sighed again and looked down at the text book. He opened it to find the first ten pages covered in ink. He paused and looked at the writing.

"Severus, why do you do this?" He asked confused. Severus shrank back farther into the wall if that was possible.

"Wrong. It was all wrong. Wrong theory, wrong methods." He said. "It was broken. I had to fix it."

"Severus. You remember making potions?" Sirius asked. Severus shook his head.

"No. Don't remember. Information, formulas, methods, calculations ... all up here." He said pointing at his head. "Shouldn't be there, don't belong there." Snape threaded his fingers through his hair. "Should be somewhere else." He said pulling his hair slightly. Sirius put the book down and pulled Snape's hands away.

"Severus, you're a genius. You have a brilliant mind." Sirius said holding Snape's hands to stop him from pulling his hair.

"Broken." Severus said. "Like the book." Sirius smiled sadly.

"And we can fix you. Just like you can fix the book."

"How is he?" Harry asked as Sirius came back downstairs.

"Better. He wants to stay upstairs though." He shrugged and sat down on the couch across from Harry. "I don't think he'd talk to you anyway."

"Does he know about Albus?" Harry asked.

"Dumbledore? I've told him that he wasn't killed anyone, and he saw Dumbledore when he was released, but I don't think he's made a connection between the two. I don't think he remembers who he 'killed'."

"Is there any chance that he'd recover?" Harry asked. Sirius shook his head.

"Not fully. We should be able to make him ... Independent, I guess would be the best word." He sighed once again. "But he won't be the same."

"I didn't think he would be." Harry sighed. "I should have known." Harry said. "I should have known he was there."

"You couldn't have known Harry." He said.

"I work for the Ministry! His body was never found!" Harry said. "He deserved to be found. He deserved a proper burial when he died. I should have looked! I should have done something, not brush it under the carpet and forget about him."

"You didn't forget about him Harry. You named your son after him. That's a great honor. Having your name live on in someone else. A new life."

"Did you tell him?" He asked. Sirius nodded.

"I did. But I don't think he understood." He said. "Maybe we can introduce them when he's better."

Harry nodded. "When Sev is a bit older I think." Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Will you stay for supper?" Sirius asked. Harry looked towards the stairs.

"Perhaps it would be better if we waited a while." He said. Sirius looked at the stairs and saw Severus at the top clinging to the text book, sitting on the top stair. He stared at Harry not saying anything. "Would you like to come down Professor?" He asked. Severus flinched and ran back to his room. "Perhaps I should leave?" He asked.

"Stay for a little longer. I know you have family to get back to, you'll still be home early. Besides, he's always like that. I don't think it's you."

Harry left an hour later, taking a few books from Sirius, which was why he came in the first place. Sirius moved into the hall and was about to move up the stairs but paused. Severus was down the front hall, his hands hanging loosely at his sides, the book on the ground. He was staring blankly at an empty space on the wall.

"Severus?" Sirius asked approaching him. "What are you looking at?" He asked picking up the book.

"There used to be a woman here." He said, pointing lazily at the wall. "Very loud."

"A painting of my mother used to be t here. And yes, she was very loud." Sirius said taking Severus' hand. "Come, lets go eat supper." He said. "Kreature made roast beef ... we can give you a little of that. See if your ready for solid food other than bread."

Severus followed him but didn't look away from the wall until they reached the stairs leading down to the kitchen. Severus sat down and held his hands on the table. Sirius put the book down and paused when he realized that Severus was holding something.

"What's that?" He asked. Severus froze and moved the object onto his lap so that it was hidden by the table.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snoop." He said staring at the table.

"It's okay." He said. "What did you find?" He asked sitting down at the table.

Severus handed him two photos. "Why did you take these?" He asked looking down at the two photos. One was of his friend James and his wife Lily, the other of Lily and his god son Harry.

"I'm sorry." Severus said.

"I'm not mad Severus. I just want to know why you took them." He said.

"They look familiar." He said. "Who are they?"

Sirius looked down sadly. "James was my best friend. Lily was yours." He said. "You loved her. You almost died for her." He said pointing at the scar on his neck. "even though she had died almost twenty years previous. You still loved her." Severus look at the picture confused.

"Why did I love her?" Severus asked. "I don't remember." He looked like he was trying really hard to remember.

"I don't know why you loved her. Maybe because she was nice to you."

Severus stared at the photo curiously. "You're nice to me." He said simply. Sirius paused not knowing what to say to that. His words weren't implying, just ... fact.

Blink brought their food and placed the plates in front of them, keeping her eye cautiously on Severus.

"Where is Kreature?" Sirius asked. Blink looked up at Sirius.

"Master Sirius ordered Kreature not to return unless you call. You did not call for him, so Blink made supper for the Masters." She said not looking away from Severus.

"Thank you Blink." She nodded before leaving the room.

Severus enjoyed the roast beef and gravy with mashed potatoes, and Sirius was glad to see him finally eating. Unfortunately, his stomach did not. Severus managed to finish the entire plate but as soon as the plate was finished ...

Sirius had mere seconds to conjure a bucket before Severus threw up. Sirius waited for Severus to finish, rubbing his back comfortingly before emptying the bucket.

Severus looked very embarrassed but Sirius just laughed.

"We'll call it compliments to the chef." He said with another laugh. "It was rather good wasn't it?"

"Not coming back up it wasn't." Severus muttered.

"It's okay. Do you want to eat something else, not that your stomach is empty?" Severus shook his head. "Do you want to go to bed?" Severus nodded. "Come on, lets go to bed."

((TBC ... felt the need to add another chapter in one night because the last one was so short ... hope you're all enjoying so far and don't forget ... Moony likes his reviews ... keeps me going ...))


	4. I'm sorry

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far.

Sithtar - I actually just finished watching Firefly but I wrote that scene before I saw it ... It was just briefly after that that River started giving me ideas and helping me write 'crazy Snape'. The idea for the book actually came from the half-blood prince, because he always wrote in his text books to fix the formulas. I nearly died laughing when I saw River fixing the bible because of that ... my boyfriend thought I was nuts ... I am using her to help me write him now but I will be trying to not make him River ... if that made sense ... please do not try to connect the two as it will take away from the story ... lol thanks for noticing the reference though ... lol House points to anyone who could find the Nightcrawler reference in the last chapter xD

**Lest we Forget**

_Chapter 4: I'm sorry ..._

Severus crawled into bed and curled up under the blanket.

"Will you be alright on your own tonight?" Sirius asked.

"Please stay." Severus said quietly. Sirius nodded and crawled into bed next to him. Sirius turned the oil lamp off and pulled the covers over him.

It was quiet for a while before Severus broke the silence. "How come you don't want me to touch you?"

Sirius sighed and turned onto his back. "It wouldn't be right of me Severus." He said. "I'd be taking advantage of you."

"You didn't say you didn't want me to though. And you wouldn't be taking advantage of me." Sirius felt Severus shift next to him. "I'm not drunk, and I know fully well what I'm offering. I wouldn't willingly do something like this if I didn't want to." Sirius closed his eyes as Severus moved his hand over his slowly swelling shaft through his pants.

"Severus, stop." He said.

"Why?" Severus asked. "I know you're enjoying it." He said slipping his hand under the fabric and gripping his now hard cock. "I'm good at it."

"Stop." Sirius said again, but the plea was half hearted. Severus pulled him out of his pajama pants making Sirius groan.

"Severus, if you don't stop, I won't be able to." Sirius said trying to shift away from him. He nearly jumped when he felt Snape's tongue run along the underside of his cock. "Severus!" He cried. Whether it was another plea for him to stop, or a plea not to stop, neither knew.

Sirius stopped fighting as Severus took his entire shaft into his mouth, which in Sirius' opinion was no small fear as Sirius was rather large.

"Severus." Sirius moaned, refraining from thrusting in farther. Severus was right. He was good at this. And it had been a long time since anyone other than his own hand had touched him. He felt his balls tighten when Severus cupped them in his free hand as he fucked Sirius' cock with his mouth.

"Fuck Severus ..." Why did he like saying his name so much? Why was it turning him on more? "That feel good." Severus pulled back and licked his lips.

"Still want me to stop?" Severus asked.

"No." Sirius said, threading his fingers through Snape's hair and leading him back to his cock. "I'm so close."

Severus moved his tongue against him before pulling back a moment to lick the slit. He twirled his tongue around the head before taking him back into his mouth again.

"Pull back, I'm cumming." Sirius said, but Severus didn't listen. Severus pumped him a few more times with his mouth before he heard Sirius moan, his release spilling into his mouth.

Severus smirked as he swallowed the rather large load, using his tongue to clean off the little bit that had dripped onto Sirius' stomach.

Sirius lay on his back, his breath coming heavier than usual as he came down from his post orgasm high.

"You didn't need to do that." He said, staring at the dark ceiling. a

"I wanted to." Severus said cuddling up next to him. He could feel Severus' hard on against his hip.

"Did you enjoy that?" Sirius asked confused.

"I did." He said.

"Do you want me to ... um ..." He asked not knowing how to phrase his question.

"No, I'm okay."

"I will if you want." He said.

"I'm okay. It will go away." He said. "It always does."

"Severus, when was the last time you ... you know ..."

"Came?" Severus asked. "I don't know. I don't remember." Severus said yawning. "A long time ago I'd guess." Severus curled up against Sirius and drifted off to sleep, leaving Sirius wide awake to think.

When Sirius woke it was still dark in the room. He yawned and turned over reaching a hand out to Severus. He jerked awake when he met empty sheet.

"Severus?" He asked sitting up. He looked around the dark room and grabbed his wand off the dresser. He jumped off the bed and was able to take two steps before the next thing he knew he was face first on the ground. He groaned as he pulled himself painfully into a sitting position.

"Lumos." He said lighting the tip of his wand, illuminating the room with light. He saw Severus huddled in the corner, his eyes wide with fear as he stared at Sirius.

Sirius turned on the oil lamp. "Nox." He said putting out his wand. He moved to Severus and put his hand on his arm.

"Severus, are you alright?" Sirius asked. Severus didn't say anything. "Severus? Speak to me."

"I couldn't sleep." Severus said. "The voices came back. They said I should be here. They say I'm not good enough." Sirius closed his eyes a moment before looking at him.

"The voices aren't real Severus."

"They are to me." Severus said. "I don't belong here. Not good enough." He said starting to claw at his arms again. "I'm a bad man ... bad man ..."

"No you're not Severus." Sirius said trying to stop him from clawing. "Severus you're a good man." Severus shook his head and screamed trying to pull away from Sirius. Sirius was at a loss as to what to do as Severus thrashed against his attempts to calm him down. Severus' screaming over powered his attempts to speak to him.

"Kreature!" Sirius yelled, somehow making his voices carry over Severus' this time. Kreature appeared in the room." Kreature understood him despite Severus' tantrum and disappeared from the room.

Sirius sat with Albus in the kitchen as Madam Pomfrey tended to Severus.

"Do you know what had set him off?" Albus asked. Sirius shook his head.

"No. We were sleeping and he was fine. Next thing I know, he's not in the bed. I kind of panicked and jumped off the bed. I tripped over him and when I turned on the light he seemed scared but nothing that he hasn't been like before. I tried comforting him like I usually but ... he started throwing a tantrum. I didn't know what to do so I called you two."

"What about in the day? Nothing out of the ordinary."

Sirius was about to deny that anything happened when realization hit like a ton of bricks. Sirius closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god." Sirius muttered. "I'm so sorry Albus. This is all my fault."

"What happened Sirius?"

"I - I should have stopped him. I shouldn't have given in." Sirius stood upa nd started pacing the kitchen. "I shouldn't have-"

"Sirius. What happened?" Albus asked once again.

"I stopped him the first night but ... last night he wouldn't listen." He opened his mouth to speak again but he was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey coming into the kitchen.

"He's still not speaking." Madam Pomfrey said.

"He speaks to me." Sirius said.

"He's resting now. I gave him a bit of Dreamless Sleep potion. I've also run a full physical exam on him." Pomfrey looked at Sirius with the most stern angry look either man had seen her give anyone. "Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Sirius opened his mouth to speak a few times, trying to form words to make sentences.

"I'm sorry." Was all he managed to squeak out.

"As well you should be." She turned to Albus. "I found a rather large trace of semen in Severus' stomach. No more than a few hours old." Sirius closed his eyes and bowed his head in shame.

"Sirius, did you ..." Albus was to shocked to even finish the sentence. Sirius sighed and told them both what had happened the night before and last night. How Severus had thought that was what he wanted, but Sirius had stopped him. How last night Severus had come on a bit stronger and how he tried to stop him but ... he had given in.

"Why were you sleeping with him int he first place?" Pomfrey asked.

"The firest night had had clawed at himself so badly I almost had to call you. I healed him up myself but I didn't want it to happen again so the next night I stayed with him. It was just going to be for the one night but last night he asked me not to leave him alone in the dark. I couldn't say no to him. I know what it's like being alone after leaving Azkaban. It's not pleasant."

Albus sighed. "You know how serious this is don't you Sirius?" He asked.

"I know, I'm sorry." He said.

"No Sirius, I'm sorry." Albus said. "We'll have to transfer Severus to St. Mungos now. And you may be charged with rape, whether it was Severus' doing or not. You're fully aware he's not in his right mind, and you didn't stop him."

Sirius tried to form the words 'I tried' but knew that would be a lie. The only words he could form again were "I'm sorry.

((TBC - Sorry chapters short ... the chapters aren't going to be coming this fast in future ... I write these at work on paper and type it out at home ... this is all the stuff I have writen out so far, other than half chapter 5, so we'll see how fast we get this writen. Lol PLEAE R&R))


	5. Tonight we are Betrayed

**Lest We Forget **

Chapter 5 – Another Kind of Hell

Sirius knocked on the door frame and poked his head in. "Severus?" Sirius asked, a box held in his hands.

Severus sat in front of the television, his face mere inches away from the screen. He seemed completely enamoured with whatever he was watching.

"What are you watching?" Sirius asked.

"Shh, Clopin is dying." Severus said quietly. Sirius sat down on the couch and tried to see the television around Severus' head. It was a musical by the looks of it.

"What is this?" Sirius asked again.

"The Notre-Dame de Paris." Severus answered. "Shush."

"I didn't know you understand French." Sirius said confused.

"I don't. Shush." Severus said again, clearly getting annoyed.

"Then why are you watching it?" Sirius asked leaning on his knees. Severus groaned and sat down properly on the floor and glared at Sirius.

"Because I know the story and I like the music." Severus explained.

"What's going on?" Severus sighed. "The gypsy king tried saving Esmeralda from Quazimodo, not knowing that Quazimodo is protecting her. The gypsy king just died. There will be more fighting, Esmeralda dies, Quazimodo dies, Frollo dies, everyone dies. Now shush." Severus said turning back to the television."

"Who's that guy?" Sirius asked.

"Gringoire." Severus said, the tip of his thumb going to his mouth. "He's the main character."

"I thought Quazimodo was the main character." He said. "This is based off the Disney movie with the dancing gargoyles right?" Severus cringed and smacked his forehead dramatically.

"The book was written by Viktor Hugo in 1842." He said. "It's almost over, be quiet please." Sirius remained quiet for the rest of the play, even though he had no idea what was going on. After the play was over, Severus turned to Sirius. "What are we going to do today?" He asked cheerfully.

Sirius smiled sadly. "You're going out today." Sirius said.

"Out? Why? Where are we going?" Severus asked looking down at the box. His face dropped, the smile fading from his face. "You're sending me away aren't you? Why? What did I do wrong?" Sirius' heart almost broke at the tone of his voice.

"You didn't do anything wrong Severus. I want you to stay." He said sadly.

"Then why can't I?" He asked. "I'll do better, I promise! Don't make me leave!"

"It's nothing you did Severus, or can do. It's something I did. I'm the bad man this time Severus." He said seeing tears coming to Severus' eyes. "It's my fault." He handed Snape the box. "You need to put these on." He said gently. Severus looked at the box, but didn't take it, so Sirius put it on the table and headed to the door so that Severus could get changed.

"Am I going back to Azkaban then?" Severus asked as Sirius was half way to the door. Sirius paused and looked back at Severus. He moved back over to him and crouched in front of him.

"No Severus. Never say that. Never think that. You will NEVER go back there again. Ever. It was wrong of them to keep you there." Sirius said, his eyes boring into Severus'. "You're to be going to St. Mongos. It's a hospital, so you can get better."

"I don't want to go. I'll get better here. I want to stay with you. You're nice to me." Severus plead. Sirius knew that in the past few days that Severus had been there, that he had become attached to Sirius. Has it really been only a few days?

"They'll be nice to you too. They are there to help you." Sirius said, picking up the box again. "Can you put these on Severus? Please? For me?" He asked. "They're just pajamas."

"They are prison garbs." Severus said as Sirius pulled out a pair of white pajamas. "Different colour, same purpose."

"Please Severus." Sirius said again.

"I'm not crazy." Severus muttered quietly.

"I know you're not crazy Severus. Please, put them on. For me?" Severus looked up at Sirius and sighed. He grabbed the front collar of his shirt and pulled it off along with his pants and undergarments. He took the white pajama pants and put them on with over dramatized movements before grabbing the white long sleeved pajama shirt and doing the same.

"I don't want to go." Severus said again weakly.

"I know." Sirius said quietly. "I know."

((A/N - I know it's been a long time, but here's chapter 5. Chapter 6 will be coming as soon as I type it up. Hope you all enjoy.))


	6. Another Kind of Hell

**Lest we Forget **

Chapter 6 – Another Kind of Hell

It wasn't long later when there was a knock at the door. Severus was watching a recorded episode of Blackadder that Teddy had left for Sirius. Sirius opened the door and allowed the two St. Mungos employees in. Both of them glared at him as they moved into the living room.

"Severus Snape?" Severus jumped at the new voice.

"Severus, we're here to take you to St. Mungos." The other said gently. Severus shook his head and dropped the television remote. He backed away from them One of them looked at a file that was in his hands.

"Subject doesn't speak due to past traumas." He told the other.

"Subject, has a name." Sirius said, annoyed at their coldness.

"Quiet." One of them said. "You've done enough damage thank you." The two slowly approached Severus who was backing into the corner of the living room. One of them tried coaxing Severus to come with him, but Severus refused. The two looked at each other before both of them moved closer to Severus. "It's okay. We're here to help you." Severus shook his head again before both of them grabbed him.

"No!" Severus screamed, shocking them both. "Let me go! Don't want to go!" Neither of them let go. "Sirius! Help me!" Sirius wanted nothing more than to help him, but he knew that he couldn't.

"I'm sorry Severus. You need to go. I'll come see you though, okay?" He asked.

"No!" Severus screamed again.

"get the port key." One said. Sirius closed his eyes, not wanting to see the tear stricken fearful look on Severus' face as they disappeared from the room.

White. That's all there was. White, and light, and voices. Different voices, but still voices.

The voices spoke to him, then there was pain. Not as bad as the dark voices, but still pain. Pokes and prods and things forced down his throat. Liquids that made him throw up, or go to sleep. He didn't like it when they made him sleep. He couldn't think when he woke up.

They say heaven is white. That there's a light that leads you there. But was there pain? Is this heaven? No. No it couldn't be. He had to be back in Azkaban. They just disguised it. Changed it. It trick him.

Sirius lied. He was locked up again.

"Any response?" Voices. Always voices. Sirius, come back! Make the voices stop!

"Vitals are normal." I'm not normal. I want Sirius! Why can't you listen! Once again his mind was screaming where his voice would not. It's like his vocals, his body, everything that was his, was failing him.

Where am I? HELP ME! He couldn't understand why they weren't listening. At least make the light stop.

"Administer him – Dreamless sleep." The voices where broken but he understood.

No! Don't want to sleep! Sirius isn't here! He needs to protect me! Stop choking me! Sirius! Help!

The light, was soon replaced with darkness.

((A/N – Short, but here's chapter 6, chapter 7 hopefully coming soon))


	7. A Lost Battle

**Lest We Forget  
**Chapter 7 - A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.

Sirius sat in the court room. There weren't many ministry members that attended to the case, as not many of them wanted to get involved with Severus Snape. Especially not in such a manner.

News of him molesting or raping Severus Snape had hit the Daily Profit after their announcement of Snape's survival. The public's reactions were not what he had hoped for.

There were a few that sneered at him, spit at him while he walked down the street. Which is what he had largely expected. But the majority ... It made him sick to his stomach that the majority of the wizarding populace congratulated him for "putting the Death Eater in his place" as the Daily Profit made it out to look like he had forcefully made Severus have sex with him.

He currently sat in the court room, waiting the verdict of his punishment.

"Sirius Black." Sirius brought his thoughts back to the Minister. Who was he? Severus' uncle, or great Uncle or something. He was sure to land back in Azkaban again. "Sirius Black, rape in a normal situation would land you at least two years in Azkaban. But due to the situation, seeing who the victim is, we're putting you on house arrest for one year time. You may leave the house only on the condition you have an escort and it is job related."

Sirius felt like he was going to be sick.

"You'd lessen a punishment just because of who the victim is? He's your nephew!" Sirius said making a few of the members of the Ministry look at Gilbert.

"He is no nephew of mine!" He said. "You are to return to your home. An auror will be by later to put up wards to alert us if you leave without an escort."

"If I have an escort, will I be allowed to visit Severus?" Sirius asked, his eyes looking up to the minister.

"Why? Didn't have your fill while he was living with you?" Gilbert asked.

"I care about him." Sirius said honestly, looking away from Gilbert as he couldn't look at his cruel face anymore. The man sought only to hurt Severus and that made Sirius ill. What kind of like did Severus have growing up if his family hated. He wondered if maybe Severus' parents were like this as well. He severely hoped not.

"Funny. I heard you hate him." Gilbert said. "Even tried to kill him back in your sixth year."

"Times change." Sirius said looking back at Gilbert. The minister sat back and seemed to think about Sirius' request. He honestly didn't care about Severus one way or the other, and anything that Sirius did to the boy mattered little to him.

"Permission to visit granted." He said before waving his hand to dismiss him. An auror came up behind him and escorted him out of the room.

(Three weeks later)

Sirius had spent almost three weeks trying to find an auror that would take him to go see Severus in St. Mungos. But at long last he had reached Arthur who had been given permission to escort him. But that permission had taken more time than Sirius would have liked, due to Arthur not being an auror. But as a ministry member he was finally given permission.

The two of them walked through the halls of St. Mungos care unit, finally coming up to the small desk where a woman sat working on some papers.

"We're here to see Professor Severus Snape." Sirius said, his voice clear as a bell. The woman continued on her papers, ignoring Sirius. Arthur stepped up.

"I'm from the Ministry," Arthur started out. "We're here to see Professor Severus Snape. Would you be so kind as to allow us in?" Arthur asked.

The girl finally looked up at them. She cleared her throat before she spoke. "_Mr _Snape." She said putting emphasis on the mister. "Is in room 14B." She said, waving over a guard to lead them to and allow them into the room.

When they reached the door the guard stopped. "Remove your shoes, tie, and strings you have on your person, and put any belongings into that tray right there." He said, his voice monotone and uncaring. Sirius did as he was instructed. He left his shoes on the mat, removed his tie and put it on the tray, before he removed what little items he had and put them with the tie as well.

"The book too." He said.

"The book is for Severus." He said. "Surely there isn't anything he can do with a small book like this. There's no weight to it, it's spelled to be impossible to paper cut yourself with, and he can't do anything with the information in it without any potions ingredients or a cauldron." He said annoyed. The guard took it from Sirius and inspected the book a moment before handing it back to him.

"Very well ..." He said before opening the door to the bright white padded room.

"I'll wait out here." Arthur said, knowing that Sirius would appreciate the time alone with Severus. Sirius nodded to Arthur as he stepped into the room. Once inside he almost flinched at the brightness of the light. It took him a moment to locate Severus, the only thing standing out against the whiteness was his hair. The rest of him almost so white he blended in with the walls.

Severus sat in the corner leaning against one wall, his knees drawn up, his arms pulled to his chest, though he seemed relaxed, his gaze straight forward. Sirius moved to him and sat down in front of him slowly, as not to startle him.

"Severus?" He asked. There was no response. Severus didn't even look up at him. It was as if he didn't know he was there. "Severus?" He tried again. "It's me. Sirius." Sirius said quietly. Still Severus did not look up. "Severus please. I'm sorry. There wasn't anything I could do. I couldn't stop them."

Sirius sat for a long time in front of Severus. Or at least it felt like a long time. It could have been minutes. "Severus, I know there isn't anything I can say or do to make you understand how much I wanted you to stay with me. Or to apologize for not being able to help you. But Severus ..." He reached out a hand to Severus, his hand on his wrist, but Severus pulled it back quickly. "Severus ... please talk to me. Please, just say anything. Scream at me, yell at me, be mad at me. Anything ... just please don't shut me out."

"He won't say anything." Sirius nearly jumped at the sound of the nurses voice. "He doesn't respond to anyone. Short of the occasional temper tantrum when we try to administer him his potions."

"What potions do you have him on?" Sirius asked as the nurse put down some food near by Severus.

"Mostly dreamless sleep at night. If we don't he'll stay awake for days staring at the floor. And nutritional potions. It hard getting him to eat anything. He hasn't really eaten anything since he got here. And we can't force feed him so we've been giving him potions to at least help him. But until he starts responding, we can't really get that much food into him anymore than we have."

"I was making such progress with him." Sirius said quietly. "He was talking, he was eating, he'd have conversations with me. We'd sit on the couch for hours and watch television or just talk. He's not the Severus I once new, but at the time, I supposed that had been a good thing. Before he got ... sick. We did nothing but fight." He said, unsure as to why he was telling the nurse this. "But when he came to my home after ..." He paused unable to say the word. "It was like suddenly a hole in my life had been filled. And now he's been taken away again, and everything is back as it was. He's shut down again because he doesn't like it here. He won't get better here." He said. The nurse put her hand on his shoulder. "I made a mistake and now Severus is the one suffering for it. I didn't rape him ... I ... I should have stopped him. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I didn't mean for this to happen!" Sirius said, tears starting to flow down his cheeks.

The nurse rubbed his shoulder caringly. "I know, I didn't believe what was put into the Daily Profit. I don't know you, but I can't see you taking advantage of anyone. Especially seeing you now. I believe you, for all it matters." She said with a small smile. She handed him the tray of food. "Since he used to respond to you. Do you think you could try to get him to eat something? Maybe you'd have a bit more success than we have." She said quietly. Sirius whipped away his tears. Now was not the time for it. He nodded to the nurse and took the tray from her.

"Of course." Sirius said before moving a bit closer to Severus. He'd do anything to try to make things better. And if he had to start at square one, by trying to get him to eat, then so be it.

((A/N – Wow I'm just punching out the chapters now aren't I? Please Please Please take the time to review))


	8. Fault the Worse by the Excuse

Kitana – The Minister doesn't see Severus as an innocent man. He sees him as a lying cheating cruel death eater that deserves to remain in Azkaban. But due to previous agreements with the previous Minister, he had no choice but to let him out of Azkaban when Albus had come to collect him. But is trying his best to make his life a living hell now that's he out, and making it harder on those trying to help him.

Everyone else – Thank you for all the reviews guys! I love reading them! Keep em coming! :D

**Lest We Forget  
**Fault the worse by the excuse

(3 months Later)

It was worse. Much, much worse than anyone could have possibly imagined. Sirius stood in front of Dumbledore, pacing back and forth rapidly, his hands behind his head as if he would do something rash with them if he didn't. Or possibly it made him think clearer. He wasn't all too sure on that matter.

Dumbledore sat on a fine Italian made sofa, stirring a cup of tea calmly as Sirius ranted.

"They are killing him!" Sirius said angrily. "They are doing more damage to him than good! They are hurting him! He's not getting better this way! He's scared, and he's alone!" Sirius said finally stopping in his pacing and turning to look at the retired old wizard. "There must be something we can do to help him."

"I'm afraid, the best actions in this situation is for the boy to remain in St. Mungos." Dumbledore said. "No one can help Severus if he does not allow himself to be helped."

"He hasn't eaten in two weeks Dumbledore!" Sirius said angrily as Albus continued to stir his tea a moment before tapping the metal spoon to the edge and placing it on the saucer. "He's thinner than when we found him in Azkaban! He's sicker! We need to do something! You didn't see him in there! He looks like a scared caged rat. He wants out!" Dumbledore took a quick sip of his tea before Arthur spoke up as well, the man sitting in a chair nearby Albus.

"Severus is as bad as Sirius says he is. He won't eat or sleep on his own. He won't move, or blink. He's almost a shell of a person." He said sadly. "If I hadn't seen him breathing for myself, I would have sworn him dead already." This seemed to anger Sirius even more as Albus took another calm sip from his tea. Sirius lashed forward.

"What is the matter with you?" Sirius yelled. "Don't you care?" Sirius yelled, slapping the cup of tea away from Albus, the cup shattering on the wall next to the fire place. Albus cringed a moment and shoot the liquid that had spilled onto his hands.

"Do not mistake my calmness for apathy." He said quietly. "I have as much fears for the boy as you do. If not more. It was my own fault that he had been left in Azkaban for so long. It is my fault that he is where he is. And you have every right to be mad at me. I considered Severus my own son, and in my old age, I had forgot of him." He said quietly.

"Do not make excuses Albus!" Sirius said angrily.

"Sirius ... perhaps-" Albus cut of Arthur with a wave of his hand.

"No ... no Arthur ... he is right." Albus said with a sigh, his hands quivering a bit. "Severus' sentence in Azkaban was to be no more than three months, on the condition that I come and retrieve him." He said. "It wasn't them that had forgotten about him. It was me. After a year, almost to the day , I had remembered. And then I was too frightened to retrieve him. I saw him as my own son, but I feared seeing the hatred in his eyes, the hatred towards me in forgetting about my dear boy." He said, his voice cracking as he spoke.

"I never got to tell him how I felt about him. When he had come to me, years and years ago, begging for a second chance, I gave it to him because I believe it was I who had lead him to join the Death Eaters. I had ignored that he had almost died, and had left his attackers unpunished, I had put a blind eye to his teasing and once again left his tormenters unpunished. I had turned a blind eye to him completely because I had allowed my prejudice towards Slytherin get in the way. I hadn't wanted to believe that my good Gryffindors could be doing such and in doing that, I had heaped more punishment on him, blamed him for everything when I should have been protecting him. I gave him a second chance, because I wanted him to forgive me for all those years. And I'm sure he has, at least in some way." As Albus spoke Sirius sat down on the couch across from him, and put his hands over his face. He felt tears springing to his eyes. It was painful to hear of the pain he had caused Severus all those years ago. But it was true. "But he could not forgive me for this." Albus continued."So I had left him there. It was my fear of his anger towards me, that had caused him this pain."

"Then do something about it Albus." Sirius said. "There has to be something we can do! We can speak to the Minister, ask him to return him here." He said, his hand waving out as if to indicate to Grimmauld Place.

"There is nothing we can do in this matter Sirius. As much as I beg for Severus to get better, we cannot take him from there." Albus said quietly. "There is no way."

Arthur sat quiet through this conversation, thinking quietly to himself.

"Well ... I believe there is one way. But it will take some time. And some convincing on Gilberts side." Arthur said.

((A/N – Man I'm really booming out the chapters aren't I? Took me 30 minutes to write this one ... hope it doesn't show, lol hope you all liked. LOVING THE REVIEWS. Please keep em coming))


	9. Hope Will Fall Tonight with Broken Wings

(( A/N - I had received a message via personal messaging asking if I had these chapters logged somewhere. I have answered her or him, and I will post in here as well. Any chapters that I am posting up are not logged in my computer, and are being posted up as I write them. There is no schedule for the postings as there are with my Thor fan fiction ((please go check it out, tis good)) and I hope to keep the chapters coming. Though I have to say, the amount of reviews I've been getting have been great inspiration to be writing as much as I have))

**Lest We Forget  
**Chapter 9 – Hope will Fall Tonight with Broken Wings

Sirius stood silently, his forehead pressed against the cool glass, his breath leaving spots of fogged condensation on the smooth clear surface. He raised his hand to the window as he watched Severus mindlessly being moved around. The nurse almost forcing the food into his mouth, though Severus showed no resistance, nor acceptance of the food he was being given. It was almost as if he didn't care.

He looked to the guard who stood at the door way, his face blank. He wasn't sure why the guard was even there. It wasn't like Severus was fighting. It had been almost a year since they put him in there, and he hadn't fought once, nor tried to escape. He watched the nurse get sick of Severus' lack of wanting to eat and, the meal half gone, she put the spoon back into the dish and picked it up to leave. Sirius wasn't even sure why he was even coming anymore. Other than the fact that he needed to see him.

He'd come with Arthur almost four times a week, sitting with Severus, just reading to him. He wondered almost every day if Severus could even hear him. Or if he was even listening. But he came back and read to him anyway. Sometimes helped feed him. Arthur never seemed to complain about coming with him. He even sometimes brought Molly with them. Though she had long since stopped coming. It was hard for her to see Severus like this. She had seen when he was part of the order that even then he was in need of some caring, and had often made him supper to take home, preparing it when no one else was watching. But seeing him like this ... it was just too much for her.

"One more week Sirius." Arthur said. "One more week and you can come see him whenever you like." He paused as Sirius closed his eyes.

"Let's hope it's not too much longer." Sirius said. "Let's hope your plans work. This is taking more time than I'd have liked it too. He should have been out of here months ago." Sirius said as Severus slowly crawled back into the corner he had been in before. As if it was the only safe place in the padded room.

"I know that Sirius. But Gilbert is not an easy man to convince. Albus has been there almost every day, as often as they would allow him in, trying to speak to him."

"I know that Arthur. But I can't help but fear that he will die in this place." He said. "I fear every time I come here that they will give me news that he has gone. Wasted away from ..." He stopped unable to continue. Arthur came up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Even if we were able to take him home. Then what?" He asked.

"Then he will be with people who care about him. He will have a sense of normality. He will be able to heal better with the people he loves, instead of the revolving door of random nurses who know nothing about him." Arthur said quietly as Sirius put his head back against the window. "I've noticed his eyes moving. More so than before." Arthur said with a small smile. "When you read to him."

Sirius paused and looked to him. "He knows you are there, Sirius. He knows you come here regularly. I have no doubt he looks forward to your visits. He doesn't openly react. But he knows you."

Sirius wasn't sure what to say to that. He sighed and closed his eyes again. "It's such a very small step Arthur. A step that shouldn't have to be taken had I just ..." He sighed once again. "I should have stopped him. I shouldn't have let that progress."

"I know Sirius." Arthur said, knowing full well what Sirius was talking about. "And I don't think you are at fault. I think, in his mind, he cared for you. And that was his way of showing it." Arthur paused, waiting for Sirius to respond. Seeing no reaction he continued. "Do you care for him?" Arthur asked.

Sirius was silent a moment, contemplating his answer. "Yes." He said simply, unable to say more. Arthur stood beside him a moment before the guard allowed him in to see Severus. Sirius stepped into the room alone, his book in his hand. His shoes had already been removed and he had long since stopped wearing a tie to see him.

He slowly sat down in front of him and smiled. "Hello Severus." He said, quietly, watching his eyes for any type of reaction. Severus blinked, but did little else.

"I brought a new book for us to read today." Sirius said quietly, leaning against the wall beside Severus, but not too close that he would feel trapped in. If he felt anything at all. Sirius opened the book, the leather bound hard cover making a crackling noise as it had never been opened before. Sirius smiled slightly as Severus looked to the book. He knew that sound was one of Severus' favourite noises. Even back in school Sirius knew that, he had over heard him telling Lily.

Sirius cleared his throat before he started reading.

"_**M**__Y EARLIEST MEMORIES ARE A CONFUSION OF HILLY__fields and dark, damp stables, and rats that scampered along the beams above my head. But I remember well enough the day of the horse sale. The terror of it stayed with me all my life._

_I was not yet six months old, a gangling, leggy colt who had never been farther than a few feet from his mother. We were parted that day in the terrible hubbub of the auction ring and I was never to see her again. She was a fine, working farm horse, getting on in years but with all the strength and stamina of an Irish draft horse quite evident in her fore and hindquarters. She was sold within minutes, and before I could follow her through the gates, she was whisked out of the ring. But somehow I was more difficult to dispose of. Perhaps it was the wild look in my eye as I circled the ring in a desperate search for my mother, or__perhaps it was that none of the farmers and gypsies there were looking for a spindly-looking half-Thoroughbred colt. But whatever the reason, they were a long time haggling over how little I was worth before I heard the hammer go down, and I was driven out through the gates and into a pen outside._

"_Not bad for three guineas, is he? Are you, my little firebrand? Not bad at all." The voice was harsh and thick with drink, and it belonged quite evidently to my owner. I shall not call him my master, for only one man was ever my master. My owner had a rope in his hand and was clambering into the pen followed by three or four of his red-faced friends. Each one carried a rope. They had taken off their hats and jackets and rolled up their sleeves, and they were all laughing as they came toward me. I had as yet been touched by no man and backed away from them until I felt the bars of the pen behind me and could go no farther. They seemed to lunge at me all at once, but they were slow and I managed to slip past them and into the middle of the pen where I turned to face them again. They had stopped laughing now. I screamed for my mother and heard her reply echoing in the far distance. It was toward that cry that I bolted, half charging, half jumping the rails so that I caught my foreleg as I tried to clamber over and__ was stranded there._" Sirius read softly for a few hours, really getting into the book and the characterizations. About half an hour in he noticed Severus looking at the page of the book. Not following what he was reading. But watching.

After a few hours of reading, he had book marked the page and quietly turned to Severus. "It's getting late. The nurse will be coming any moment." He said quietly, running his fingers through Severus' short black hair. "They cut your hair." He said with a soft smile. It was almost as short as Harry's was. "It looks good." It really didn't, it was short, but uneven, as if the person cutting it really didn't care, or Severus had put up a struggle. Which wouldn't have surprised him either. He knew the only reactions anyone ever gotten out of him was panic. Generally when someone we trying to hurt him, or he thought someone was going to hurt him.

"Severus," Sirius said quietly. "I'll try to be back tomorrow okay?" He asked. "Albus is talking to your uncle. We're going to try to get you out of here. We're going to try to take you home alright?"

Severus looked up to meet his gaze. Sirius almost fell back in shock that Severus looked at him. It had been months since Severus stopped looking at him. But his gaze dropped once again. It had happened so quickly that Sirius thought he almost imagined it. Sirius watched him for a few more moments, his hand running through Severus' hair. "I'll be back tomorrow, and I'll read some more." He said quietly before rising to his feet and slowly making his way out the door.

((A/N – So? Was Sirius imagining it? Or did Severus really look at him? Also, I'll give a shout out in the next chapter to whomever leaves a review with the name and author of the book Sirius was reading to Severus. So long as you log in to review. How you all liked this chapter. More to come soon.))


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